I am sad the Park’s and Recreation is over. As sad as I can be about a T.V. show about fictional characters acted in by people I’ve never met. I am distraught about the death of Ron Swanson’s mustache. Fucking distraught.

After the P&R finale the entire cast showed up on Late Night with Seth Myers. It was a nice segment where the cast all loved each other, and laughed with or at each other. And somewhere in the middle I realized the Abe Lincoln-looking mother fucker was actually Ron Swanson and the ‘Stache was already gone.

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The show JUST ended Ron! Why did you do it?

On the plane of reality I normally inhabit I realize Nick Offerman the actor and Ron Swanson the character are not the same person. I also realize this site is a shouting post for the promotion of beards. We think beards are the bees knees, but Nick Offerman’s weird chin beard without the ‘Stache top is not okay. It’s like going out into Winter Storm Tupac (that’s a real thing) in snow boots, parka but no hat. A beard needs it’s hat.

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As a mustachioed libertarian who doesn’t care what you think, Ron Swanson is just as much a part of popular culture as an television character has been in recent memory. Ron Swanson’s mustache has become a character of it’s own. As a mustache it conveyed strength, confidence and a sense of worldly balance. A tilt of the upper lip could convey a range of emotions that would make Meryl Streep cry real tears assuming she is capable of doing so and not a robot. And when the lips parted and ‘Stache curled into a smile or erupted into a giggle it was hard not to think that all would be right with the world.

The Ron Swanson mustache was a throwback to a different set of values. It reminded us to take pride in our work, to cherish the simple things in life, and realize that most decisions are not hard. When in doubt keep your mouth shut, pour a finger of good scotch, eat some breakfast food and the everything will work itself out. Thank you for the memories Ron Swanson’s ‘Stache. Rest in peace.

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Bring back the Beard!

And you, Nick Offerman, we understand you need time to grieve or find your own way. We’ll give you a pass for now. But sometime in the future, when a cool breeze tickles the underside of your nose, and the first of many whiskers pokes it’s way out of the skin on your upper lip…let it grow. Let it grow.

 

When you are sad and blue, and don’t know what to do.
Watch this video.

photo credits: NBC