Words by Ryan Woldt, Chief Monkey at One Wild Life
It’s 2:30 in the morning. I’m up. My stomach hurts, and I can’t stop tapping my feet together. Sometimes I rub the tops of them together. Mostly the right sits on top of the left bouncing up and down.
I move to the couch. It’s cooler out here. I wrap up warm in a few of the living room throw blankets, close my eyes and try to fall back asleep.
It’s too late. The bracing chill of predawn darkness sparked by my restlessness has caused my brain to start working. I lay there in the dark willing myself to sleep, while simultaneously mentally writing response e-mails and social media messages, creating various color-coded todo lists and somehow trying to keep it all straight in my head because getting up at 4:17 am would be admitting defeat. Defeat from whom? Defeat to my own entrepreneurial spirit which is in a constant battle with this imaginary world I hope to exist someday with this goal I think I want commonly referred to as “work/life balance.”
At 4:18 am I cave. If I just write down these to do lists I’ll be able to go back to sleep I tell myself. I heat up some water for tea, and somehow end up with a pot of coffee. Moving from the couch to the chair next to the soft light I start working. I respond to the e-mails first. Build some page templates for the One Wild Life website & save to send to Tim (my business partner), then finally get to the todo list. One list becomes three. Then I’m watching videos and taking notes for our Coast to Crest Trail film. I e-mail it all back to myself to go back too when I wake up later.
But I never end up going back to sleep. Outside I notice the sky has turned red and wonder if today’s dawn is a warning of bad weather. It’s 6:45 and I hear my wife’s alarm going off. It’s a late morning for her. She comes out and I offer her a cup of coffee from my pot, but apparently it’s already all gone.
It’s 7:15. Time to wake up and get to work. That work/life balance will have to wait till tomorrow when I have gotten some sleep.
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